h1. Well, what IS wrong with ebooks? h3. Click on this, then fiddle with your arrow keys * Yeah, like that * By Dan Hall, ImprobableIsland.com h3. Why don't people read ebooks? * Because ebooks suck ** Because there's a bajillion different file formats *** And they all suck **** Except HTML ***** Which still sucks a bit ****** Because nobody uses it ****** And because you can't save your place in it ******* Unless you use ebook reading software ******** Which you really shouldn't have to do ********* Because HTML has the ability to save your place for you ********** But nobody makes HTML files with that ability *********** Because it's tricky *********** And because authors tend not to be computer-savvy enough to pull that off *********** Because HTML can be copied easily ************ Which is what it's for ************ And publishers are scared of piracy **** And plain text ***** Which also sucks ****** Because you can't do italics ****** Because you can't do illustrations ****** And it's hard to change the appearance **** Because they are designed to stop the reader doing things that the reader wants to do ***** Like sharing the books with their friends ***** Or copying the book to different computers so they can read them at work **** Or because they were never designed to be read on a machine ***** Like PDF ****** Which is not reflowable, and cannot be read on anything but a computer or paper ******* And not many people read ebooks on their computer ****** Seriously, who the hell prints out their ebooks? ******* Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose? ** Because they're horrifically expensive *** For something where the individual unit production cost is zero *** For something that you can't hold in your hand *** And authors get paid very little of that money **** Because middlemen take a big cut ***** Like publishers ***** Like bookstores ***** Like payment processors ***** Because authors tend not to be web-savvy enough to do it themselves ** Because they try too hard to be like real books *** And fail **** Because they're not real books **** Because they don't take advantage of the fact that they're not real books ***** With no requirement for physical storage ***** And no production costs per unit ** Because we spend a lot of time trying to fix the medium *** In pointless ways **** Like simulated page turning **** Or flashy graphics *** Instead of teaching ourselves to stop breaking it **** With DRM **** With high prices **** With redundant and confusing file formats **** With silly, consumer-hostile marketing tactics ***** Like releasing ebook versions of novels months after the novel is released ****** At higher prices ******* Stephen King, I'm looking at you ***** Or not releasing the ebook version at all ***** To which the consumer responds with book scanners, OCR and BitTorrent ****** Duh ******* Which means no money for the publisher ******** Because of their own mistakes ******* And no money for the author ******** Which must really piss them off *** Because we don't realise that we already have an almost-perfect format **** Called HTML ***** That can be read on anything ***** That can be reflowed ***** That can be shared ***** That can be styled ***** That can be printed ***** That can be copied and pasted ****** Into an E-mail ****** Into a dissertation ****** Into a review ****** Into a recommendation ***** That can be edited to suit the reader ***** That nobody uses ****** Because authors write in word processors ******* Which do a piss-poor job of making HTML files ****** Because it's technically tricky for a layman * Because people don't want to read from a computer screen ** Because they can't do that in the places where they usually read books *** Like on the beach *** Or in bed *** Or on a plane *** Or anywhere except where their computers are *** Unless they get something else that can read ebooks **** Like an ebook reading device ***** But they all suck ****** Because they read ebooks, which suck ****** And because their displays suck ******* Because they're not backlit ******* Because they take ages to turn a page ******* Because they're grayscale ****** And because they're hilariously expensive **** Like a mobile phone or PDA ***** Which I've found to be ideal ****** Because I always have it with me ****** Because I can choose my font colour, size, typeface and background colour ****** Because it can auto-scroll ****** Because I can read in bed without disturbing my wife ***** But which others might not ****** Because the screen is very small ****** Because other programs and features are a distraction ** Because data represented on a computer screen cannot be touched *** Or smelled *** Or dogeared *** Or borrowed from the library *** Or lent to a friend *** Or loved * Because people aren't used to ebooks yet ** Because people don't read ebooks *** Because they suck h3. What do I want from an online fiction magazine? * I want to read free eBooks ** That I can download *** With no DRM *** That I can put on my phone **** In .txt format **** In .mobi format **** In .html format **** In .epub format **** With a small file size ***** Because there's no DRM ***** Or silly word processor markup **** And read with whatever reader software I want ** That I can read in my browser *** With the ability to change typeface, size, colour, and background colour **** Quickly, and with a minimum of fuss *** And the ability to save my place in the story for later **** Without necessarily having to instruct the computer to do this for me ***** Because that should be automatic ****** Because it can be ******* Because ebooks are not books ** Or that I can have E-mailed to me *** In plain text or in html ** That are of high quality *** In my opinion ** From authors that I know ** And authors that I don't know *** But would like ** That are in collections of similar themes *** Perhaps all downloadable as an anthology in one lovely big .zip file ** That I can share with my friends *** By E-mailing them the story files *** Or by Bluetoothing the files to my friends' phones *** And with my online friends-who-I-have-never-met **** Through social networks ***** With a button that makes it easy **** And through direct links to the read-online stories * I want to support the author directly ** With a PayPal donation *** Directly to the author **** With no middleman **** Of a dollar, two dollars, four dollars or ten dollars ***** So that I don't have to think too hard about how much to give **** Or of an amount that I can set myself ***** If I don't have much money ***** If I use a different currency ***** If I want to make a large donation ** With encouraging words *** Via a comment box *** Via the author's E-mail *** Via a social network ** With more readers *** By sharing the story with my real-life friends and my social-network friends * I want a community ** With a system that listens to my input and changes its output accordingly *** With a rating system *** And with tags *** And with recommendations *** But with definite personal, one-on-one human contact ** With forum and blog commenting * I want it to be frequently updated ** With at least one new story a week *** And preferably several a week ** And at least one new .zip anthology per month ** And an RSS feed h3. Why is this so difficult? * Because ebooks suck ** See above