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  <head>
    <title>Well, what IS wrong with ebooks?</title>
    <dateModified>Tue, 15 Dec 2009 22:49:44 +0000</dateModified>
    <ownerName>CavemanJoe</ownerName>
  </head>
  <body>
    <outline text="Click on this, then fiddle with your arrow keys">
      <outline text="Yeah, like that"/>
      <outline text="By Dan Hall, ImprobableIsland.com"/>
    </outline>
    <outline text="Why don't people read ebooks?">
      <outline text="Because ebooks suck">
        <outline text="Because there's a bajillion different file formats">
          <outline text="And they all suck">
            <outline text="Except HTML">
              <outline text="Which still sucks a bit">
                <outline text="Because nobody uses it"/>
                <outline text="And because you can't save your place in it">
                  <outline text="Unless you use ebook reading software">
                    <outline text="Which you really shouldn't have to do">
                      <outline text="Because HTML has the ability to save your place for you">
                        <outline text="But nobody makes HTML files with that ability">
                          <outline text="Because it's tricky"/>
                          <outline text="And because authors tend not to be computer-savvy enough to pull that off"/>
                          <outline text="Because HTML can be copied easily">
                            <outline text="Which is what it's for"/>
                            <outline text="And publishers are scared of piracy"/>
                          </outline>
                        </outline>
                      </outline>
                    </outline>
                  </outline>
                </outline>
              </outline>
            </outline>
            <outline text="And plain text">
              <outline text="Which also sucks">
                <outline text="Because you can't do italics"/>
                <outline text="Because you can't do illustrations"/>
                <outline text="And it's hard to change the appearance"/>
              </outline>
            </outline>
            <outline text="Because they are designed to stop the reader doing things that the reader wants to do">
              <outline text="Like sharing the books with their friends"/>
              <outline text="Or copying the book to different computers so they can read them at work"/>
            </outline>
            <outline text="Or because they were never designed to be read on a machine">
              <outline text="Like PDF">
                <outline text="Which is not reflowable, and cannot be read on anything but a computer or paper">
                  <outline text="And not many people read ebooks on their computer"/>
                </outline>
                <outline text="Seriously, who the hell prints out their ebooks?">
                  <outline text="Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?"/>
                </outline>
              </outline>
            </outline>
          </outline>
        </outline>
        <outline text="Because they're horrifically expensive">
          <outline text="For something where the individual unit production cost is zero"/>
          <outline text="For something that you can't hold in your hand"/>
          <outline text="And authors get paid very little of that money">
            <outline text="Because middlemen take a big cut">
              <outline text="Like publishers"/>
              <outline text="Like bookstores"/>
              <outline text="Like payment processors"/>
              <outline text="Because authors tend not to be web-savvy enough to do it themselves"/>
            </outline>
          </outline>
        </outline>
        <outline text="Because they try too hard to be like real books">
          <outline text="And fail">
            <outline text="Because they're not real books"/>
            <outline text="Because they don't take advantage of the fact that they're not real books">
              <outline text="With no requirement for physical storage"/>
              <outline text="And no production costs per unit"/>
            </outline>
          </outline>
        </outline>
        <outline text="Because we spend a lot of time trying to fix the medium">
          <outline text="In pointless ways">
            <outline text="Like simulated page turning"/>
            <outline text="Or flashy graphics"/>
          </outline>
          <outline text="Instead of teaching ourselves to stop breaking it">
            <outline text="With DRM"/>
            <outline text="With high prices"/>
            <outline text="With redundant and confusing file formats"/>
            <outline text="With silly, consumer-hostile marketing tactics">
              <outline text="Like releasing ebook versions of novels months after the novel is released">
                <outline text="At higher prices">
                  <outline text="Stephen King, I'm looking at you"/>
                </outline>
              </outline>
              <outline text="Or not releasing the ebook version at all"/>
              <outline text="To which the consumer responds with book scanners, OCR and BitTorrent">
                <outline text="Duh">
                  <outline text="Which means no money for the publisher">
                    <outline text="Because of their own mistakes"/>
                  </outline>
                  <outline text="And no money for the author">
                    <outline text="Which must really piss them off"/>
                  </outline>
                </outline>
              </outline>
            </outline>
          </outline>
          <outline text="Because we don't realise that we already have an almost-perfect format">
            <outline text="Called HTML">
              <outline text="That can be read on anything"/>
              <outline text="That can be reflowed"/>
              <outline text="That can be shared"/>
              <outline text="That can be styled"/>
              <outline text="That can be printed"/>
              <outline text="That can be copied and pasted">
                <outline text="Into an E-mail"/>
                <outline text="Into a dissertation"/>
                <outline text="Into a review"/>
                <outline text="Into a recommendation"/>
              </outline>
              <outline text="That can be edited to suit the reader"/>
              <outline text="That nobody uses">
                <outline text="Because authors write in word processors">
                  <outline text="Which do a piss-poor job of making HTML files"/>
                </outline>
                <outline text="Because it's technically tricky for a layman"/>
              </outline>
            </outline>
          </outline>
        </outline>
      </outline>
      <outline text="Because people don't want to read from a computer screen">
        <outline text="Because they can't do that in the places where they usually read books">
          <outline text="Like on the beach"/>
          <outline text="Or in bed"/>
          <outline text="Or on a plane"/>
          <outline text="Or anywhere except where their computers are"/>
          <outline text="Unless they get something else that can read ebooks">
            <outline text="Like an ebook reading device">
              <outline text="But they all suck">
                <outline text="Because they read ebooks, which suck"/>
                <outline text="And because their displays suck">
                  <outline text="Because they're not backlit"/>
                  <outline text="Because they take ages to turn a page"/>
                  <outline text="Because they're grayscale"/>
                </outline>
                <outline text="And because they're hilariously expensive"/>
              </outline>
            </outline>
            <outline text="Like a mobile phone or PDA">
              <outline text="Which I've found to be ideal">
                <outline text="Because I always have it with me"/>
                <outline text="Because I can choose my font colour, size, typeface and background colour"/>
                <outline text="Because it can auto-scroll"/>
                <outline text="Because I can read in bed without disturbing my wife"/>
              </outline>
              <outline text="But which others might not">
                <outline text="Because the screen is very small"/>
                <outline text="Because other programs and features are a distraction"/>
              </outline>
            </outline>
          </outline>
        </outline>
        <outline text="Because data represented on a computer screen cannot be touched">
          <outline text="Or smelled"/>
          <outline text="Or dogeared"/>
          <outline text="Or borrowed from the library"/>
          <outline text="Or lent to a friend"/>
          <outline text="Or loved"/>
        </outline>
      </outline>
      <outline text="Because people aren't used to ebooks yet">
        <outline text="Because people don't read ebooks">
          <outline text="Because they suck"/>
        </outline>
      </outline>
    </outline>
    <outline text="What do I want from an online fiction magazine?">
      <outline text="I want to read free eBooks">
        <outline text="That I can download">
          <outline text="With no DRM"/>
          <outline text="That I can put on my phone">
            <outline text="In .txt format"/>
            <outline text="In .mobi format"/>
            <outline text="In .html format"/>
            <outline text="In .epub format"/>
            <outline text="With a small file size">
              <outline text="Because there's no DRM"/>
              <outline text="Or silly word processor markup"/>
            </outline>
            <outline text="And read with whatever reader software I want"/>
          </outline>
        </outline>
        <outline text="That I can read in my browser">
          <outline text="With the ability to change typeface, size, colour, and background colour">
            <outline text="Quickly, and with a minimum of fuss"/>
          </outline>
          <outline text="And the ability to save my place in the story for later">
            <outline text="Without necessarily having to instruct the computer to do this for me">
              <outline text="Because that should be automatic">
                <outline text="Because it can be">
                  <outline text="Because ebooks are not books"/>
                </outline>
              </outline>
            </outline>
          </outline>
        </outline>
        <outline text="Or that I can have E-mailed to me">
          <outline text="In plain text or in html"/>
        </outline>
        <outline text="That are of high quality">
          <outline text="In my opinion"/>
        </outline>
        <outline text="From authors that I know"/>
        <outline text="And authors that I don't know">
          <outline text="But would like"/>
        </outline>
        <outline text="That are in collections of similar themes">
          <outline text="Perhaps all downloadable as an anthology in one lovely big .zip file"/>
        </outline>
        <outline text="That I can share with my friends">
          <outline text="By E-mailing them the story files"/>
          <outline text="Or by Bluetoothing the files to my friends' phones"/>
          <outline text="And with my online friends-who-I-have-never-met">
            <outline text="Through social networks">
              <outline text="With a button that makes it easy"/>
            </outline>
            <outline text="And through direct links to the read-online stories"/>
          </outline>
        </outline>
      </outline>
      <outline text="I want to support the author directly">
        <outline text="With a PayPal donation">
          <outline text="Directly to the author">
            <outline text="With no middleman"/>
            <outline text="Of a dollar, two dollars, four dollars or ten dollars">
              <outline text="So that I don't have to think too hard about how much to give"/>
            </outline>
            <outline text="Or of an amount that I can set myself">
              <outline text="If I don't have much money"/>
              <outline text="If I use a different currency"/>
              <outline text="If I want to make a large donation"/>
            </outline>
          </outline>
        </outline>
        <outline text="With encouraging words">
          <outline text="Via a comment box"/>
          <outline text="Via the author's E-mail"/>
          <outline text="Via a social network"/>
        </outline>
        <outline text="With more readers">
          <outline text="By sharing the story with my real-life friends and my social-network friends"/>
        </outline>
      </outline>
      <outline text="I want a community">
        <outline text="With a system that listens to my input and changes its output accordingly">
          <outline text="With a rating system"/>
          <outline text="And with tags"/>
          <outline text="And with recommendations"/>
          <outline text="But with definite personal, one-on-one human contact"/>
        </outline>
        <outline text="With forum and blog commenting"/>
      </outline>
      <outline text="I want it to be frequently updated">
        <outline text="With at least one new story a week">
          <outline text="And preferably several a week"/>
        </outline>
        <outline text="And at least one new .zip anthology per month"/>
        <outline text="And an RSS feed"/>
      </outline>
    </outline>
    <outline text="Why is this so difficult?">
      <outline text="Because ebooks suck">
        <outline text="See above"/>
      </outline>
    </outline>
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